Ask yourself what very first thought comes to mind when someone asks you to do something...
INTRO:
Here is my first challenge for you. I’m going to try and keep these challenges short and sweet. The idea is to spend less time reading and more time actually doing it, because that’s how you experience the most growth. These techniques are not meant to change your life in a day or overnight, you will make mistakes because they are meant to be continually practiced and improved upon day today.
The structure;
I will explain and describe the challenge summarizing “How” to do it and “Why” you should. Keep in mind I am no philosopher, teacher, or degree specialist of any form. I’m simply just sharing techniques I’ve learned through leaders I’ve looked up to which includes; sports scientists, psychologists online and in person, research, studies, and mainly through my personal experience. And yes, across my research I have learned a lot of “bogus” methods and have personally depicted the ones that have actually worked for me and have shifted my perspectives on life. Anyways, that is a whole different topic for another time.
CHALLENGE #1: The ‘Yes-No’ Philosophy
Ask yourself the following question and make yourself aware of the very first thought that comes to mind…
“Do you want to _______?”.
Don’t worry, I know what you are thinking…
“Well, it depends on what they are asking me to do, based on the situation,” and I would have initially reacted similarly if someone were to ask me a bland question like that too. So, let’s quickly break it down and think simpler, if someone asks you to do something, HOW do you react, where do your initial thoughts go.
You may be wondering why this even matters if your initial thoughts don’t actually answer the question. Well, it indeed matters because exactly, where those initial thoughts lead, has a HUGE influence on your final response to that question whether you know it or not.
Your initial reactive thoughts can only respond in one of two ways, remember it is important to be honest with yourself which way you think your initial thoughts respond. You’re not trying to prove anything to anyone, you’re just here to better yourself.
QUESTION: “Do you want to _______?”.
1st way- Do you firstly think of reasons why you can’t __ ______ activity?
In your mind, you initially come to terms with your life before this activity, where you think about how your original planned course of action will be impacted by this activity. You think about your schedule for that day, what you have planned already, the timing of those plans, how you are feeling in the moment, look for complications with that activity, perhaps make excuses, think about how other people would react to you carrying out this activity, etc.
All those thoughts mainly leading to excuses supporting why you can’t do such activity. However, if it’s something you really want to do, those excuses become second nature. Similarly, if it’s ideally something you do not want to do despite knowing if it may be beneficial for your long- or short-term goals, those excuses once again become priority over the thought of actually doing it.
OPTION 2…
2nd way- In your mind, you think “well, what would happen if I said yes?”
Here, you initially come to terms with incorporated this activity in your life and accept the initial idea of it right off the bat. You think to yourself “yes, okay, now what?” Your initial thought is yes, then you decide/think about what would be impacted/happen to you if you chose such answer “yes” as your final response;
· Perhaps you’ll form a better bond with the individual(s),
· Pick up a new skill,
· Improve upon a skill that will help you in the near or far future,
· Finish a task,
· Find yourself getting into trouble,
· Set yourself back or forward towards your goals,
· Increase your life enjoyment and happiness.
If you selected option #1, you are what’s considered “The No-Philosophy.” You don’t accept new instances right off the bat, you’re bad at making decisions for yourself on your own, and rely on others heavily to dictate the activities you become involved with. You do things with groups of people and rarely seek to find self-fulfillment, meaning you don’t truly understand your personal desires as an individual. You can be shy and unconfident about yourself, but you don’t like to show it, that is exactly why you primarily rely on other people to choose the course of free time activities you will partake in.
Well, how do I know this, because I too was like that. However, I always knew I wanted to be so much more, have a greater influence on myself and others, be able to stand up for myself and what I believed in, and overall have full control over dictating my life. I had an idea what I needed to do to bring me closer to my long- and short-term goals, I just never did them. After again and again telling myself one day I would, I realized now is always the right time to do so, I just needed to put my plans to action and find a way to get over myself to do so.
Life is full of choices, no matter the circumstance, there’s always alternatives and you always have a choice upon them. Everything you have today is one hundred percent because of the choices you have made in the past;
Did you win that race? Well, you probably skipped a workout, slacked on a run, were satisfied by not making your times in practice?
Did you make that huge sale? Did you chase down your client, did you call them back, did you educate yourself and your client enough on the product?
Did you get the mark you thought you deserved? Did you study really hard, go over all the material, ask questions to peers, go in for extra help, quiz yourself enough?
These are all examples of choices you could have made in the past in order to achieve the outcome of a goal. Ask yourself if you accomplished that goal, then reflect what choices you made before then because no one is responsible for making these choices for you.
So, what did I do?
This;
Option #2. The “Yes-Philosophy.” Changing my initial thought process too “What will happen if I say yes.” This way I am making my mind believe that this activity is possible before laying out the factors coming into play.
By creating positive connotations towards the activity right off the bat, I already come to terms with involving the activity in my life. Versus shutting down the idea while having it resonate as a negative non-achievable task for myself.
Now you may be wondering how this works, to answer your question exactly, it has a little something to do with the fact that our ALWAYS wants to be right, ALWAYS.
Think about it, we have all gotten into a fight with a friend or family member over something completely stupid. For example, the time a store opens, when the train leaves, a rule or policy, or the proper way something is supposed to be done. Sometimes our side is clearly proved wrong even though we felt we were so right, but most of us still refuse to believe it, because we disapprove of the feeling of being ‘wrong’. At that point, we find any way to convince ourselves we are indeed right, and that the other person(s) were actually the ones at fault.
Well, that is all because our mind simply hates being wrong. Therefore, if you have trained your mind to think “no” right away, it will find any excuse to choose “no” at the end of your mental debate, simply because your mind so eagerly wants to be right, making you less likely to participate in an event. Now, that does not mean you will NEVER participate in any event ever thinking this way, it just means you are less likely too.
If you shifted and trained your mind to think “yes” right away, it will go through all the same excuses as before but keeping the initial ‘yes’ response in mind the entire time while doing its ‘mental debate’. Your mind is more likely to find a way to make it happen if choosing “yes” is truly something that will be beneficial for you.
This doesn’t mean you have to, and you will start to say “yes” to every question you get asked, you will still turn down activities. The idea of the “yes” philosophy is to allow you to layout your pros and cons for a situation less biased around supporting the initial negative connotation, “no”. Instead, the “yes” philosophy will set yourself up to make a clearer decision supported by positive connotations. Your decisions will push you outside of your comfort zone, allow you to think more clearly about your goals, and leave no room for excuses as you strive toward them, in term allowing yourself to more easily live out the actions in your best interests.
So, let’s shift our mentality, which brings me to my very first challenge for you.
Like all challenges it will take many tries over and over again, you will mess up a lot of times, but it is okay if you keep focusing all it takes is catching yourself mid-way thinking “no” one time to shift the mental process to “yes.” After that point, the networks in your mind will have a clear path to “yes,” and with more and more practice you will find yourself thinking then acting this way.
So, go about your day, your week, whatever, but when someone asks you for anything, whether it be to go get them something, make dinner, any simple too complex task, first think to yourself “well what would happen if I said yes?” Then weigh out your options to come to the decision.
The idea is that changing the way you think will lessen the thoughts that interfere with achieving what you want. You will know you successfully completed the challenge when you have found yourself adapting this new thought process and carrying out simple actions that you otherwise wouldn’t of because of so.
Albert Einstein always said,
“Education is not the learning of facts, but the training of the mind to think.”
Can you think? Good, then you can do it.
Comentarios